Screaming My Goddamn Lungs Out Silently

by Twan - Aries

I've said nothing about nothing for seventeen years
The last time I announced anything important was I'm queer
There's a lot you'll never know about what I thought
All the imaginary damage that I have wrought
I've attacked, and attacked, and told my side
You can be Dillinger, and I'll be Clyde
And running the streets with a fake Tommy in my grasp
Speaking out of term with a voice that has a rasp

The cute twink boy at Walgreens? Well, I smile quietly.
While I think about bending him over and pounding him violently
And the one that works at Macy's? Oh, it's not fair
while he worships at my temple and I find something to do with my gummi bears
All this, of course, only happens in my mind
Puts me in a tight, never loosening bind

Music helps me release some of those 'mones
That roar through me when disrespected by another old clone
I hum a Victimizer song and play air guitar
And people watch me warily, prepared to run far

Mister Goody Two-Shoes has a much darker tint
that has nothing to do with skin color and everything to do with glint
My rage is under control, only genteel side shown
while I turn away from the boy who raised a bone

But suddenly, a word! An unbelievable affront
Some hater keeps me from getting into this boy's c--t
By saying "What are you doing? This one, with the curl?
You like that? What's wrong with you? You might as well date a girl!"

Yes, I like fem boys! So what? Who cares? What's your deal?
And why does it matter? Because you want to cop a feel?
I don't say any of this, though if asked I would
At least, I think, I think, I think I could. 

I love fem boys for reasons that are beyond your comprehension
But not me, for I know them, I know the tension
That I get being around them, getting my shot
And I've had enough of them to know that it's really hot.

Roaring gothically to port, on my knees in the stern
Ignore those watching, ignoring the burn
Not that one! Metaphorically! A figure of speech!
And scrubbing the floor with a special kind of bleach.

Imagine what it's like...I don't suppose you would
Your imagination can't stretch that far...if it ever could
But let's answer the question. Not that one, the other one about me
You should love real men, what's your sexuality?

Sexually ambiguous? Not me. Not really
I enjoy and love men but can see women without being silly
And hell, I'm not a Kinsey 6, probably a 5
Stand your ground, you bloody bastards! Look Alive!

People gaze in shock. MG2S is talking like he rules
Guess what, Minnesota girls and fools?
I do! I'm not from here. You haven't gotten through
I'll run through your bullshit like I'm Seattle Slew. 

But I'll deal with the rudeness, the self-centeredness, the stuff
that you wouldn't like done to you...but see, I'm tough
I was raised better by a woman who made life such a joy
And I'll always have it better...I don't need a toy.

For I learned one thing. In my mind I know what to do
I know how to please myself while pleasing you
But you miss out. That's your loss, your fail,and when I scream my victory in glee.
You won't hear it. This bear roars-silently. 
Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2011-10-04 07:02:40
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:17
Poem ID: 72239

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