I sit silently. I think about the days we had Happy sometimes, others mad By rights you belonged...well not to me I loved you, but you said we could not be Under skies that turned quickly from purple to black Where I was perfect and forgot all the qualities I lack We threw away all our inhibitions for a chance at finding a mate Only to realize that "the one" wasn't part of our fate And the days changed. Decreased. Increased. Bold. Left us hiding our feelings, pretending to be cold. How we've changed. Grown older, not wiser, yet more The reality hit us like a fist, chilled to our core We're all dying, none of us get out of this alive Some days we loved till the clock struck A.M...five. And I walk into the park to watch life go by To listen to dogs bark and watch birds fly How we've changed. Made decisions, things become, not remain Where many pass from our lives yet cause pain Lonely? Never me, and never because We protect ourselves by lying to ourselves, never what it was. And the last time I saw you. What I remember so well Is what berates me mentally, and it feels like hell I failed to understand what it was that is fate And now, God Damn It, it's too late. How could love be a sin? Why the words within Never come out when they should, which is where I've been? I decided long ago to retreat into my head Which is where I remain, trapped with the words I've said In time I may forgive. I may even forget Some time before my final doom I will have met I attack myself everyday and berate and insult I suffer inwardly the slings and arrows of my own tumult I realize now where it all leads me, to where I am now to where I cry and curse and ask myself how From this rage there is no real exemption Which is why I see helping you all as my only redemption. I have no words. Excuses. Affirmations. Explanations. Defendings. All love stories don't have happy endings. Lost in my own head, I sit silently.Birth sign: Aries
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